Stigmatized since childhood by her love of the rock band Journey, Maya finds her voice in a world where she doesn't always feel "Black enough."

PORTLYNN TAGAVI’S DIRECTOR’S STATEMENT

Being half Iranian and half black, I didn’t fit in within the black community. I was raised by the black side of my family, but it was difficult to blend in. Since I looked more Iranian, I found myself overcompensating a lot in order to feel like I belonged. I started listening to more hip hop and rap. I would code switch and try to be on trend with whatever was popular. I was trying to be something I’m not in order to feel like I belonged because I was made to think that being black was something I had to prove as opposed to something I just was no matter what kind of music, movie or clothes I liked. This film encapsulates that feeling perfectly. This film is about the insecurity of not feeling accepted in your own community and the weight of having to perform in order to fit in.

Maya’s journey throughout this film is that of self acceptance. She learns from an early age that liking bands like Journey will make her stand out for not being black enough. She learns to suppress those interests and hide that part of herself in order to feel like she belongs. She’s proud of who she is and where she comes from but she must also learn that liking Journey doesn’t make her any less of a proud black woman.

I hope to showcase the reality of the pressures certain communities place on their members to act in line with community expectations in order to feel belonging within that community. I find that I’m always proving to people that I’m both black and also proud of my heritage even though I like things that might be labeled as “white”. It’s my goal to showcase that in the end everyone is different no matter what racial background you have and that the insecurities Maya was feeling are not unique to her but shared by a lot of people.

WRITER’S STATEMENT

There are many ways to be Black. We are not a monolith, right? However there are plenty of examples across Black Twitter of Black folks quick to call each other out for being deemed insufficiently Black. Sure it's complicated. And yeah, there’s truth in the saying “all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk.” I know our history and why we are more culturally inclined to behave this way. Still, being considered a "sellout" or told that I “act white” has always been a source of fear and shame for me.

Growing up, I spent my Sundays in a Black Baptist Church, surrounded by intelligent, dignified, resilient Black people. My adolescence was filled with celebrations of Black History and Black Culture. I love being Black. But, I have long hidden an uncomfortable secret... I love rock - the white boys, wearing spandex and mullet hair, kind. Classic Rock. Arena Rock. Hair Metal. Yacht Rock. Stadium Rock. Dad Rock... all of it. Yeah, I know it’s derived from Black Soul. And yes, plenty of other Black folks like it. But for me, it just tipped the scale. I wasn't about to jam out (air guitar style) to November Rain with the Black kids at church. Hell no. Not when they were already teasing me for how I talked and danced and smiled (yep, "you smile like a white girl" was sorta my thing). Some things were out of my control. Sharing what I listened to was not.

Clearly, this film is personal to me. I, like many others, have grown tired of watching Black bodies being mentally and physically abused. Tired of seeing us beat down and lashed open. I wrote this out of my desire to see a corny Black girl bursting out in a cheesy, anthem rock song. Our film is specific and unique, but it also has the opportunity to connect across different ethnicities, generations and sexualities. Anyone that has ever felt the sting of being rejected by the culture they identify with most can be Out of Tune.

x Erika Hamilton